My Fairy Tale

I am me.

I’m so sad, upset, and yet broken.

This life is so unfair. Why can I be loved?

I gave HIM everything. But I got nothing.

I want something. But still I get nothing.

I lose my years. Believing that he could mine.

I thought he will love me, just like I love him.

I get nothing but a zero.

Love is wicked. Love is unfair.

One time, if a miracle does happen, can I feel this love anymore?

One time, if a miracle does happen, is this heart still be urs?

This wicked love, let me end it.

Just like a good thing always end.

Another boring day. Damn!! (~.~)z

Urggh, no school, no hang out, no HIM!! My holiday’s kinda suck.

I wanna write a story about him. But this time, he won’t able to read it. (Hahaha ^^) Hiks, I am hurted again. For the very last time (maybe!). He’s gone and left me again.

Am I too selfish? I can’t be his bestfriend forever. I need time for all of these. I wanna leave him, but I can’t. He’s drowning. He’s so lonely. I am the only one who know his probs. I don’t want him to suffer. How about me? I’m suffering too.
I am beside him. I am watching, wondering, and crying. Arrghh.. I caught in the middle.

God, give me strength to cheer him, to be with him, and to strength him. Maybe I’m hurtED, but I know u send me to help him. I’d be strong enough to make him stronger.

YEAAGGGHH!! I can do it…

Ahhh.. I’m so moody lately. Here is my poem….

In the next few month,
Maybe we’ll not be together again.
I am pretending to be so good.
But I’m not.
I wanna hold you.
But I couldn’t.
I wanna hug you.
But I couldn’t.
You seem so far away.
I really miss u.
Can u make me smile like before?
Can u make me happy like before?
Maybe,
I shouldn’t have turned back tht day.
If only, I could forgot u in a hour.
If only, I could find another you in a minute.
Yeaaahhh.. You’re irreplaceable.

I’m so bored. Huh, skool’s so f*ck up recently. I’m not feeling well too. uHHHHHH….

Hey, I wanna tell you a story about the love a woman & a man who love each other. Unfortunately, they are never be together…
This woman love the man for almost half of her life. She met him at highskool. They’ve been best friend ever since. They knew that they loved each other. But dunno why, they never be a bf and gf. *BooHooo*
The girl is waiting and waiting. Until one day, they make their own decision. The woman get married to a man who can make her happy. (Sure, she’ll!) But, The man never get married.
The woman is so happy with her life. She gets everything she want. Love, family, bag, branded stuff and what-so-ever. In other hand, the man isn’t.
One day, the woman walks home with her two little cute children from school. They laugh and they look so happy. Suddenly, the woman stop. She stares at the man in front of him, a part of her past life who always hurts her. A part of her life that is missing. She cries without tears. She misses him, the one who gave her all of the happiest memories.

She might have been happy with her life. But something’s missing. Something’s gone. Something that she can’t reach.

Hikz, I’m so sad. Why did you make this tearfull story? But, It was beautiful, though.

It’s 21.20 now. I got a headache. Uhhh… It’s bugging me!
I was out (again!) with Adi and Reiner. Hehehe.. It’s nice to go out with them.. I have known Adi since Year 11 and become bestfriend ever since. He’s kinda funny-looking guy who always smiles wherever he goes. Hey, dun forget our plan on Sunday. (That super-delicious Popcorn will be waiting for us, boy!)
"Hey, I am happy today. Very happy. Tenkiu for everything. Even I look so ‘normal’, I couldn’t hide my Feeling. You made me so happy. Thx a lot!"

I guess, I just need to be me. Not anyone. Listen to my own heart..
Nite, guys…

My Monday is pretty good, though. It ain’t as bad as yesterday. I was out for lunch with my two buddies. Joey/Joel/whatever took me home. I was surprised tht he could drive. Hahaha.. sORY jo…
We went to Universal Service to pay Joey’s administration. Actually, Joey is accepted at NAFA. He’s good, isn’t he? Yeaaww. You rawk, dude!
Uhm.. Dunno what to do. Tommorow, I am going to have a accountancy test. It’s kinda easy. But dunno la. Wish me luck ^^

Ehm, friends… Tenkiu for all your advises. It doesn’t work for him. He’s so different with other guys. Anyway, You are still my dearest bestfriends. As dearest as ever…

Godbless ^^

Dear X,
I know tht u’ll read this blog. Whatsoever, I want you to know that I’ll never leave you. This is the only way to keep goin’ with our life, so u don’t have to wait for me.
X, You’re too good to be true. You’re popular and good-looking. You have many fans too. Hehehe.. But Listen, You may be broken rite now. I just want u to know, I do love you.
I never broke someone’s heart, though. And I won’t. I don’t want u to regret wht u have taken in the last year of our high school. It’s just me, an ordinary girl (who are so-not ur type). You’ll find thousands of me out there. Not just one, but thousand. It is just how u r going to take care the one you love.
I know u love me. But u force me to do something who’s so-not me. Yeah, maybe someday I’ll change. But not rite now.
I’m not leaving, anyway. I am just giving u space to enjoy ur life, ok? (Ok,maybe it’s too dramatic! Sorry! But It’s from my heart!)
I’ll always remember ur word, even u don’t mean it anymore. You said, "Even I’m gone and leaved you. Remember, I’ll be back to you at the end. Leave a space in your heart, even the small one, it’s ok!"
Hey, Whatever’ll happen, there are lot spaces for you in my heart. Even I say there arent, yes!! There is..
I’m not anybody, but you are somebody.
Remember, everyone’s changing. You can’t only see from one point of view. World consists of billions different ppl. Someday, u’ll change.
For a better person.. ^^
Adore the one who you love, Cherish her. I know you can do it. You just have to try harder. Don’t wait until someone’ changed. You must changed first. And I’m sure, everything will change for you.
GODbless..

Urgh, I’m stressed out. I hate being this shit. Back to my past life (2 week ago). I was so fresh last week. Now, I am feeling the stress again.
Ok, I can’t lie. It’s him. Is this the feeling of falling in love? I thought, love was happiness and HAPPY!! But, I’m not.. Yeah, sumetimes. But mostly, I’m not. This shitty problems make me dizzy and aarrrgghhh… Dunno laaa..
Today school wasn’t so bad la.. I got friends who are funny enough to make me laugh.. Hahahaha..
Can’t live without them. ^^
Ok guys, 2 weeks to Try-out!! Good luck alll!!

Whew… Weekend ^^!!
Days passed so quickly. Today, I went to PTC. Not bad la.. It was so quick though.. Couldn’t enjoy it. Ccil needed to come home quickly.
Yummm.. Lately, I’m not feeling so well. Love’s really suck. It’s really confussing, isn’t it?
Now, I’m so bored.. Waiting for someone.
I have thought a lot lately. It seems that my love wasn’t that big anymore.. He hurted me so bad. But, I don’t want to hurt him. (Nice girl, huh?)
Hoooaaahh.. Feeling sleepy now. Should I go to bed?? Yeaaawwhhh…

Caooo ^^